You’ve tried resisting. You’ve told yourself a thousand times that you wouldn’t give into this pandemic. But something happened and one day you woke up to the realization that it happened… You’re basic. You can run, but you can’t hide and being basic is not just a way you dress, it’s a way of life. Since there’s no sense in trying to fight it, here are 10 ways to be as basic as possible, because if you have to be it, you might as well go hard or go home.
1.) Become a Starbucks Gold Card holder. You know you can’t resist the grande nonfat double shot latte on a chilly morning, so you might as well be rewarded for it. You can’t really call yourself basic if you can’t Instagram your Starbucks cup in a totally basic spot like your Eno or beside your Lilly agenda. Plus, with a Gold Card, you can get free refills on regular coffee as long as you don’t leave the cafe, which will come in handy once midterms rolls around!
2.) Own a different pair of leggings for every day of the week and a few extras, just incase. Basic girls don’t wear pants. And when someone tells you leggings aren’t pants you simply laugh at their uncultured opinion of your wardrobe. They obviously haven’t gotten the memo that leggings are the lazy but fabulous way to show off your booty after all of those squats and that hot yoga class last week! Leggings are your go-to bottoms from September to March and they can be dressed up with a sweater and scarf or dressed down with your favorite Comfort Colors tee. Either way, you look so fetch.
3.) Planning out your entire wardrobe for each season via Pinterest. Whether or not you actually end up buying these outfits or not, all of your Pinterest followers at least think you are a style queen. From Lilly Pulitzer dresses in the spring to over sized sweaters and infinity scarves in the fall, you have your ideal wardrobe set up on a Pinterest board that has a name along the lines of “My Style” or “Fashion by Me”.
4.) Perfecting your “I just woke up like this” look. Because we all know, nobody but Beyoncé wakes up looking fabulous. There is an art to getting the perfect messy bun, the natural, but still sultry makeup that makes you glow but not look like you tried too hard, and the perfect amount of slouchy clothes that makes you look cuddly and not like you haven’t showered in 4 days.
5.) Craft your life away. It doesn’t matter that you failed art in the 4th grade, you have to redeem yourself and if you don’t have an inner artist, you pay yourself off to act like you do. You can’t be basic without hand painted canvases adorning your walls and a hand painted cooler to drag behind you to tailgates.
6.) When in doubt, monogram it. Just to ensure that people don’t mistake your shirt that you’re wearing for something similar that they own, you probably need to monogram it. Nothing says basic like monogrammed EVERYTHING. And as long as you look cute, who cares?
7.) You speak in text lingo. Whether it’s forced or habitual, it happens. Someone says something unbelievable, you say “OMG!”; someone says something funny you say “L. O. L.”; someone passes you doing laps at the gym, you say “YGG!”. Not all people understand, but the basics know every letter. It’s like having a secret language sometimes.
8.) You must have either your monogram, your sorority letters, or a bumper sticker about your cat on your car. If you’re an overachieving basic, then you probably have all 3. Along with other sparkly stickers, a personalized license plate, and some sort of girly decoration hanging from your rearview mirror.
9.) If you know how to even, don’t. You can’t even.
10.) Don’t worry about the haters. Just tell them “Don’t hate us cause you ain’t us, hate us cause we’re basic.”