Even the most extroverted of individuals have those days where they need a break from society. Maybe you are recovering from a sleep deficit of two consecutive all-nighters, or perhaps that cup of Americano should have come with an extra shot of caffeine. Whatever your reason for misanthropy, you join the ranks of many of the world’s most brilliant and creative minds who shared a similar disdain for humanity. Below are 14 quotes that speak to misanthropes everywhere:
- “Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah…didn’t miss the boat.” –Mark Twain
If there is ever an evolution round 2, humanity should probably not get on board.
- “The only thing that will be remembered about my enemies after they’re dead is the nasty things I’ve said about them.” –Camille Paglia
That is the mentality of a true conqueror. The same applies to that boy in my public policy lecture that keeps forgetting to not ask for permission before using the bathroom.
- “Nobody ever lost a nickel betting against the intelligence of the American public.” –P.T. Barnum
If I had a nickel for every time this statement was accurate, I could probably buy the entire Barnum & Bailey Circus.
- “Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider.” –George Carlin
Forget that Halloween movie marathon you never finished; I’ll take Freddy Krueger over this terrifying reality any day.
- “The earth…has a skin, and this skin has diseases. One of these diseases, for example, is called “man.” –Friedrich Nietzsche
Tell the doctor I don’t want the full prognosis.
- “Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.” –H.L. Mencken
Definitely harsh, arguably valid.
- “When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure hell won’t be so bad after all.” –Mark Twain
Save me a seat at your table, Mr. Twain.
- “A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.” –Oscar Wilde
Spoken like the truest of gentlemen.
- “Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.” –Lillian Hellman
I’m not too sure most people could handle Hellman’s polygraph test.
- “Much virtue in herbs, little in men.” –Benjamin Franklin
If only Franklin could see the country he helped found today.
- “I don’t have pet peeves, I have kennels of irritation.” –Whoopi Goldberg
Unfortunately, this kennel is at capacity.
- “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” –Ernest Hemingway
I suppose the cliché “ignorance is bliss” applies here.
- “Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.” –Aldous Huxley
This makes me wonder what sins I committed in a past life.
- “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” –Fred Allen
Good ol’ Fred Allen dropped the sickest of burns even before the first World War.